Greetings readers,
Another day has passed by, and life moves on in its ever slow pace.
For the record, I am not a poet...
Anyway, today was a fun day. Being a Monday, and normally the day which signals the end of a weekend, and the beginning of a new class week, or work week, this Monday was fun.
It started off regular enough. I woke up and did my usual morning routine, including the exercises from my doctor. Each morning lately, I have some "morning pain." It is more or less just some pain consistent with my disease. Usually the pain fades, sometimes it does not.
Today, there was no pain, and I felt great! However, I have done my research, and know that this is almost to be expected. There will be days when I feel great, it just does not mean that I am miraculously cured and am going to live. No, I am still sick, I am still dying. I just get one free day. I keep my hopes up, but in my research, this is also usually a sign that things are only going to get worse.
Back to this morning though. So after breakfast and everything, I got some reading done and tended to my plants that I keep on the balcony of my apartment. Around late morning, I headed back to my old college campus.
Again, I wandered around, said hi to a few people that I know. This time, however, unlike last time, I had a purpose being on campus.
Inside our student union, there is an actual sit-down type of restaurant. Just before noon, I went in and sat down, grabbing a table just before the noon lunch rush. There I sat an awaited my guests.
Yes, you heard that right, guests, plural.
My guests came in almost right at noon. They sat down at the table across from me and proceeded to open up a conversation.
Now readers, you could be correct in guessing that one of my guests was R. The other one, was one of the only other people that I suppose can be counted as a friend of mine. I will call him V.
So together, R, V, and myself had a rather pleasant lunch together. We talked and laughed, and generally had fun. Until the end of lunch.
This was where, I decided to let V know the news about my imminent demise.
Needless to say, he was shocked. There was the usual round of questioning, but in the end, and mind you, this actually took nowhere near as long as I thought it would, he simply accepted it.
Well, that went better than I had hoped. I was expecting some long series of questions and denial to be worked around.
After lunch, V had to go back for another class, but R was done for the day, so she and I went to a place here in town that specializes in the instruction of developmentally disabled children. Autism and other conditions.
There, we spent some time with the children, and with the owner/head teacher there. Now some people may wonder just why 2 random people can walk into a school and interact with the kids. I will tell you how. This is neither my, nor R's first time at this school. In fact, we both have been there many times before. No, neither of us attended the school, the school is owned/taught by R's mother. R's mother runs the school, and the 2 of us have helped out there before.
R and I spent the afternoon with those kids, getting to interact with them and play with them. Most of the kids there know both of us. There were some kids who were missing, the one's who had gotten too old to be at that school anymore and had moved on after the summer, as well as new kids who were just starting at the school.
I have to honestly say, that this is perhaps the most enjoyable time I have volunteering for something, spending time with these kids. They are always so happy and cheerful, most of them anyways. Spending time with them is a blessing.
It was fun to spend time with them, fun to play with them, read to them, and teach them. Most of them are no different than you or I, they simply take longer to grasp certain things. In other ways, they can actually be smarter than most other people. For some odd reason, there are a few of them who are oddly perceptive, noticing things that others would not.
So it was with a bit of embarrassment that one of the kids decided to broach the topic of a relationship between R and myself.
Now I have never really given it much thought, I mean R is my best friend, and we do a lot of things together, but I have never really thought of us as a couple. The question made us both pause, before R gave an answer. Her answer being, "Maybe..." with that drawn out ending that tends to signify that it actually means yes.
Well, that threw me for a loop. Is there a relationship between R and myself? Even now, hours later and after R and I separated once we were done at the school, I am still thinking about that. I suppose that I will just have to ask her myself.
Anyway, after spending time with the kids, and for most of them, their parents had come to pick them up, or gone home on the school's bus, R and I separated, and I went back to my apartment.
So now, there are things that I must ponder.
Until next time,
B
Monday, August 30, 2010
Day 15
Greetings readers,
Here we are, at the close of day 15. And here I am, beginning to run out of ideas for nice things to do for people. I suppose that I can continue to go to random places in town and buy things for people, but that seems like a cop-out. A few of my accomplishments have been random, only coming about because of the circumstances. When I started this, I honestly had no idea that it would be this hard to find ideas.
Oh well, I suppose that I will just have to get creative.
Take today for example. While driving down the road, I saw a car pulled off to the side. I pulled over as well in order to ascertain the problem. It turns out that the woman simply had a flat tire. I helped her change the tire, and drove off after making sure she got her car moving alright.
Now I could have called that my goal for the day, the woman did smile and was grateful, but I did not.
Instead, I continued to drive down the road towards my destination. My destination being a retirement/assisted living place here in town. It offers various places, such as apartments for elderly who can still live alone, semi-assisted places where a nurse comes to check on them every so often, or fully-assisted places with full-time care.
Once I arrived at this place, I got out of my car and headed inside to the main office. Having been in contact with this place previously, I simply signed in on the visitor's log and then headed towards the main get-together room.
The room is large-ish, containing various sitting places, couches and chairs, arranged around a huge TV. There were also a couple tables with chairs around them, as well as an open space, which I am still not sure of the original intention of, but when I was there, several elderly in wheelchairs were sitting there.
So I came into this room and there were elderly people watching TV, some program about the ocean, looked pretty interesting actually. There was a group of women at one of the tables playing cards, as well as the wheelchair group that I mentioned earlier, talking with each other.
What I had come to this place to accomplish, was to spend time with these elderly people. No more, no less. I started off by walking over to the table where the women were playing cards. I pulled up a chair and sat down, asking them how they were doing.
You know, elderly people can be awfully suspicious, some of them at least. Out of the 4 women at the table, 2 of them started talking to me, while the other 2 regarded me with instant suspicion. It took a while, but I eventually did manage to convince them that I meant no harm, and was simply there to talk to them.
Once their defenses came down, it was actually an enjoyable time. The women talked with me and, eventually, actually let me play cards with them. They were playing hearts, a game that I have never played before. The rules are simple, but actually playing it takes skill that I do not have. I am not ashamed to say that each round I played, I very solidly got my butt handed to me. These women were crafty and ruthless when it came to playing cards.
Naturally, the inclusion of a new person in the area became a hot news item. We drew a crowd at the table, and people watched us play. and watched me lose horribly. After a few games, all of which I lost, I announced that my brief stint at Hearts was over. I then proceeded to get up and interact with other elderly people in that room.
I am proud to say that I spent an very enjoyable few hours there. I got to talk to some rather amazing people, and get to know them. A lot of people got to hear about things from me that they were interested in, like college life nowadays, as well as what I was studying, etc.
After a few hours had passed, it was getting on towards dinner time and I got up to excuse myself. I left the retirement home feeling happy, and knowing that for some of these elderly people, I had made their day, easy.
Spending time with the elderly was fun, and most likely something I will do again.
Until next time,
B
Here we are, at the close of day 15. And here I am, beginning to run out of ideas for nice things to do for people. I suppose that I can continue to go to random places in town and buy things for people, but that seems like a cop-out. A few of my accomplishments have been random, only coming about because of the circumstances. When I started this, I honestly had no idea that it would be this hard to find ideas.
Oh well, I suppose that I will just have to get creative.
Take today for example. While driving down the road, I saw a car pulled off to the side. I pulled over as well in order to ascertain the problem. It turns out that the woman simply had a flat tire. I helped her change the tire, and drove off after making sure she got her car moving alright.
Now I could have called that my goal for the day, the woman did smile and was grateful, but I did not.
Instead, I continued to drive down the road towards my destination. My destination being a retirement/assisted living place here in town. It offers various places, such as apartments for elderly who can still live alone, semi-assisted places where a nurse comes to check on them every so often, or fully-assisted places with full-time care.
Once I arrived at this place, I got out of my car and headed inside to the main office. Having been in contact with this place previously, I simply signed in on the visitor's log and then headed towards the main get-together room.
The room is large-ish, containing various sitting places, couches and chairs, arranged around a huge TV. There were also a couple tables with chairs around them, as well as an open space, which I am still not sure of the original intention of, but when I was there, several elderly in wheelchairs were sitting there.
So I came into this room and there were elderly people watching TV, some program about the ocean, looked pretty interesting actually. There was a group of women at one of the tables playing cards, as well as the wheelchair group that I mentioned earlier, talking with each other.
What I had come to this place to accomplish, was to spend time with these elderly people. No more, no less. I started off by walking over to the table where the women were playing cards. I pulled up a chair and sat down, asking them how they were doing.
You know, elderly people can be awfully suspicious, some of them at least. Out of the 4 women at the table, 2 of them started talking to me, while the other 2 regarded me with instant suspicion. It took a while, but I eventually did manage to convince them that I meant no harm, and was simply there to talk to them.
Once their defenses came down, it was actually an enjoyable time. The women talked with me and, eventually, actually let me play cards with them. They were playing hearts, a game that I have never played before. The rules are simple, but actually playing it takes skill that I do not have. I am not ashamed to say that each round I played, I very solidly got my butt handed to me. These women were crafty and ruthless when it came to playing cards.
Naturally, the inclusion of a new person in the area became a hot news item. We drew a crowd at the table, and people watched us play. and watched me lose horribly. After a few games, all of which I lost, I announced that my brief stint at Hearts was over. I then proceeded to get up and interact with other elderly people in that room.
I am proud to say that I spent an very enjoyable few hours there. I got to talk to some rather amazing people, and get to know them. A lot of people got to hear about things from me that they were interested in, like college life nowadays, as well as what I was studying, etc.
After a few hours had passed, it was getting on towards dinner time and I got up to excuse myself. I left the retirement home feeling happy, and knowing that for some of these elderly people, I had made their day, easy.
Spending time with the elderly was fun, and most likely something I will do again.
Until next time,
B
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day 14
Greetings readers,
It has now been 2 weeks since the start of my... well I am not really sure what to call it anymore. "New life" just does not seem to fit. New outlook on life...?
Either way, perhaps it is time to take a look back on the last half-month.
In the last 2 weeks, I would like to believe that I have been successful in accomplishing my goal each and every day, even though there has already been one day where I could only accomplish my goal through a proxy. It would be egotistical of me to assume that I have actually "made a difference" in people's lives, but perhaps simply by making them smile, I can make their day better, even if it is in some small way.
Some people might raise the objection that I am doing these things for people who may not deserve it. I disagree. The issue here, for me, is not whether I am finding people who are deserving of the things that I am doing, but whether I can simply make them smile.
Yes the argument can be made that most of the people that I am buying things for could probably afford it on their own. That is not the point. If I spent each and every day trying to find a person who could not afford things, or without my help would otherwise not be able to do something, I would never get anything done.
It is my honest belief that no matter what your place in life, no matter your past or your present, everyone deserves the opportunity that I am giving out; the opportunity to smile, and maybe have some fun. That is what I believe. It has not always been my belief, this is relatively new to me, but it is what I believe now.
Take today for example, today I went to visit R at her workplace, a local eatery. She works as a waitress there. I sat down and ordered some food, simply wishing to enjoy my time there, mostly because R was supposed to get off of work in about 20 minutes.
As I was waiting for my food, and since I was by myself with no one to talk to, I started reading a book that I had brought with me. As I was reading, naturally I can hear the conversation of the table next to me. I overheard the rather elderly couple sitting next to me talking about how happy they were to be celebrating their anniversary that day.
Well in the interest of simply being friendly, I leaned over and congratulated them on their anniversary, asking them how many years they had been married. They told me that it was their 60th wedding anniversary.
Now maybe it is just me, but 60 years is a long time, just under 3 times my current lifespan. I congratulated them again, and we struck up a conversation.
Eventually, at their invitation, I joined them at their table. The three of us sat together, eat our food and talked about random things, from marriage to love, and how it is to be young (me) versus older (them). For the record, they brought up that particular topic.
When the meal was winding down, and R was gathering up our plates, I excused myself to go use the restroom. I intercepted R and handed her some money, telling her to use that to pay for not only my meal, but the couple's meals as well.
I waited in the back and appropriate amount of time, before heading back to the table. Once I got back, I was asked a rather unexpected question by the couple. They asked me if I could sing.
Well, let it be known that I can sing, rather well I suppose. I took vocal lessons and was in a lot of musicals, both at my school and around town. I answered their question with a yes, and they asked me to sing them something.
That was surprising. In all honesty, it has been awhile since I have sung anything. I started to wrack my brain trying to come up with a song. I asked them what type of song they wanted to hear, and they told me that anything would do.
Well for some reason, my mind kept coming back to a certain song. So in the end, I sang them the song "Mud on the Tires" by Brad Paisley. I tried to keep it quiet, but unfortunately, it seems that everyone in the eatery decided to stop talking right then.
So I ended up serenading the entire restaurant, even though I studiously ignored everyone but the couple in front of me. Needless to say, when I was done, there was applause, and my face most likely went several shades of red.
But it was all good, the couple really enjoyed it and smiled and thanked me for the time that I had spent with them. I smiled back and told them that it was my pleasure.
When the checks came, or rather, lack of a check, the couple was surprised again. The balance owed on their check was nothing. I will give this couple credit for one thing, they are quite smart. They looked at the check and then almost immediately over at me.
I just smiled and told them that I had taken care of the check for them. They made one attempt to argue/pay me back, but I refused.
Again this couple smiled and told me that I was a very nice young man. I just told them to enjoy their anniversary, before I got up and left the eatery to go outside and wait for R. We had been R's last table, so now that we were done, she could get off of work. Outside, I met the couple as they were leaving the eatery. They thanked me one more time, smiling all the while, before they got in a car and drove off.
R then came outside and the two of us headed back to my place to hang out.
Now, the argument can be made that since the couple was at that eatery, then they can afford to eat there. That is not the point. The point is that I made them smile. Whether it be through my actions, or my singing, they smiled, laughed, and were having a good time.
That is the undercurrent to all of this, making people smile, something that everyone deserves.
Until next time,
B
It has now been 2 weeks since the start of my... well I am not really sure what to call it anymore. "New life" just does not seem to fit. New outlook on life...?
Either way, perhaps it is time to take a look back on the last half-month.
In the last 2 weeks, I would like to believe that I have been successful in accomplishing my goal each and every day, even though there has already been one day where I could only accomplish my goal through a proxy. It would be egotistical of me to assume that I have actually "made a difference" in people's lives, but perhaps simply by making them smile, I can make their day better, even if it is in some small way.
Some people might raise the objection that I am doing these things for people who may not deserve it. I disagree. The issue here, for me, is not whether I am finding people who are deserving of the things that I am doing, but whether I can simply make them smile.
Yes the argument can be made that most of the people that I am buying things for could probably afford it on their own. That is not the point. If I spent each and every day trying to find a person who could not afford things, or without my help would otherwise not be able to do something, I would never get anything done.
It is my honest belief that no matter what your place in life, no matter your past or your present, everyone deserves the opportunity that I am giving out; the opportunity to smile, and maybe have some fun. That is what I believe. It has not always been my belief, this is relatively new to me, but it is what I believe now.
Take today for example, today I went to visit R at her workplace, a local eatery. She works as a waitress there. I sat down and ordered some food, simply wishing to enjoy my time there, mostly because R was supposed to get off of work in about 20 minutes.
As I was waiting for my food, and since I was by myself with no one to talk to, I started reading a book that I had brought with me. As I was reading, naturally I can hear the conversation of the table next to me. I overheard the rather elderly couple sitting next to me talking about how happy they were to be celebrating their anniversary that day.
Well in the interest of simply being friendly, I leaned over and congratulated them on their anniversary, asking them how many years they had been married. They told me that it was their 60th wedding anniversary.
Now maybe it is just me, but 60 years is a long time, just under 3 times my current lifespan. I congratulated them again, and we struck up a conversation.
Eventually, at their invitation, I joined them at their table. The three of us sat together, eat our food and talked about random things, from marriage to love, and how it is to be young (me) versus older (them). For the record, they brought up that particular topic.
When the meal was winding down, and R was gathering up our plates, I excused myself to go use the restroom. I intercepted R and handed her some money, telling her to use that to pay for not only my meal, but the couple's meals as well.
I waited in the back and appropriate amount of time, before heading back to the table. Once I got back, I was asked a rather unexpected question by the couple. They asked me if I could sing.
Well, let it be known that I can sing, rather well I suppose. I took vocal lessons and was in a lot of musicals, both at my school and around town. I answered their question with a yes, and they asked me to sing them something.
That was surprising. In all honesty, it has been awhile since I have sung anything. I started to wrack my brain trying to come up with a song. I asked them what type of song they wanted to hear, and they told me that anything would do.
Well for some reason, my mind kept coming back to a certain song. So in the end, I sang them the song "Mud on the Tires" by Brad Paisley. I tried to keep it quiet, but unfortunately, it seems that everyone in the eatery decided to stop talking right then.
So I ended up serenading the entire restaurant, even though I studiously ignored everyone but the couple in front of me. Needless to say, when I was done, there was applause, and my face most likely went several shades of red.
But it was all good, the couple really enjoyed it and smiled and thanked me for the time that I had spent with them. I smiled back and told them that it was my pleasure.
When the checks came, or rather, lack of a check, the couple was surprised again. The balance owed on their check was nothing. I will give this couple credit for one thing, they are quite smart. They looked at the check and then almost immediately over at me.
I just smiled and told them that I had taken care of the check for them. They made one attempt to argue/pay me back, but I refused.
Again this couple smiled and told me that I was a very nice young man. I just told them to enjoy their anniversary, before I got up and left the eatery to go outside and wait for R. We had been R's last table, so now that we were done, she could get off of work. Outside, I met the couple as they were leaving the eatery. They thanked me one more time, smiling all the while, before they got in a car and drove off.
R then came outside and the two of us headed back to my place to hang out.
Now, the argument can be made that since the couple was at that eatery, then they can afford to eat there. That is not the point. The point is that I made them smile. Whether it be through my actions, or my singing, they smiled, laughed, and were having a good time.
That is the undercurrent to all of this, making people smile, something that everyone deserves.
Until next time,
B
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Days 11, 12, and 13
Greetings readers,
So here we are again, almost the end of two weeks now. And again, I am combining three days into one post. What can I say, life can get the best of all of us.
On Wednesday, August 25, the day after my date with R, I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time.
I probably should have known that that feeling would not last.
That morning, I puttered around my apartment, did some laundry, that sort of thing. By the time lunch rolled around, I was beginning to feel a little off. Not quite sick, but off. I am really not sure how to describe it.
Regardless of how I was feeling, I went out to accomplish my goal that afternoon.
That day, I went and volunteered my time at the church again. Again, I handed out food and then sat down a chatted with some of the homeless people. I met a young woman, that I will call A.
I had met her last week, and briefly talked with her, but this week, I talked with her a bit longer. She told me a bit of her story that day. It turns out, A had been abused as a little girl, and she ran away from her home when she was 14.
There she spent her days trying to hide from other runaways and homeless, and her nights trying to scavenge for food. She was eventually found and picked up by the police when they caught her scrounging through trashbins behind a restaurant.
The police took her to a children's home here in town, where she finally had a place to stay. Unfortunately, she could not stay there for long. Her parents came back and took her away. It was not long before the abuse started again, and she ran away again.
That was years ago, and she has been living on the streets, homeless, ever since.
Hearing her story made me sad for her. Not pity, because in all honesty, she is not unhappy with her lifestyle. But I felt sad for her all the same.
But rather than sadness, I feel that there is something that I can learn from A. She has had a rough life. Living on the streets, especially at such a young age, is hard. But throughout it all, she has managed to maintain her sense of self, her happiness.
No matter what happens to her, she has always maintained a positive outlook. I feel that that is something that I can learn from. Keeping a positive outlook no matter what.
On Thursday, I woke up and immediately felt sick. Not just off like the day before, but well and truly sick. About the only thing I managed to force down my throat that day was some orange juice and soup. I spent almost the whole day alternating between laying in bed, and hovering over the toilet, threatening to vomit.
I did manage to accomplish my goal, however, in a rather abstract way. R came by, and I gave her the necessary money and instructions on what to do. She drove over to a local coffee shop and a popular hangout spot for college students.
Once she got there, she went up to the counter, handed the barista the money, and told the barista that the money was to be continually used to pay for people's purchases until there was no more money left. The amount of money that I gave her, should pay for about 20 people's purchases.
I told R to stick around and just observe what people did. She reported back to me, saying that people were genuinely surprised at what was going on. There were people who were suspicious, but most people just sort of accepted it, and walked away from the counter with a smile on their face.
I was glad to hear that from her when she came back to my apartment, and bearing some food as well that she apparently bought for me to try and eat. Unfortunately, my stomach was not quite up to eating it, but it can be saved for the next day.
Today, I woke up feeling better. Not back to normal, but better. I was able to eat a small breakfast and not feel like I was going to vomit.
So, this afternoon, I left my apartment and headed back to college, campus that is. Since today is still pretty close to back to school, there are groups all over campus holding little events. I used to be a part of a group on campus, and I knew that today they were holding an event where they were going to give away ice cream sundaes to people.
I spent a good 2 hours helping dish out ice cream to college students. Most of them simply took it and left, not even bothering to take out their headphones from their iPods or whatever other device they were on.
The reason I was there, was for those students who took the time to stop and talk with us. Not necessarily to hear about the group, but simply to be nice and socialize.
It was these people who made me standing in the hot sun for hours, bearable, even enjoyable. I got to talk to some great people whom I had never talked to before. And I got to see people smiling and enjoying themselves, and some free ice cream.
As I sit here writing this, there are a few things that I have noticed about the last 2 weeks. But those will wait until tomorrow, and the post for day 14, which will be a post half-dedicated to my goal, and half-dedicated to another week wrap-up.
Until next time,
B
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Days 8, 9, and 10
Greetings readers,
Again, there is a delay between posts. These last few nights, I have been simply too tired to post at the end of the day. This disase is sapping my strength. I give myself perhaps a few weeks before I will not be able to live independently anymore.
When that happens, since I cannot afford to stay in a hospital, I have no idea what is going to happen. What I want to happen, is for me to simply stay in my apartment, and still be able to accomplish my goal each day with the help of R, who has already agreed to this.
God bless R, she really is the best friend that I can have. She is so willing to simply put her own life on hold in order to help me with my issues.
So, in these last few days, I have been busy with my goal.
On Sunday, I accompanied R to her church. I have never been a church going person, and believe me when I say that there is no deathbed conversion coming. But she has been trying to get me to ccome to church for weeks now, so today I relented.
Honestly, her church was not quite what I expected. Rather than being a bunch of people, stuffed in some hot and stuffy room on uncomfortable pews, it was rather different.
Sure there were a lot of people there, but I never even made it into the main room for service. No, I got dragged down into the basement by R, who took me into the room where the younger children have bible study/day-care during the service.
It was in this room that, as the newcomer, I was immediately surrounded by about 20 young kids, who all started asking me questions. As it turns out, R is the person who supervises these kids.
For an hour, I sat in a chair that is way to small for me, at a table that my legs do not fit under, and interacted with these kids.
Honestly, seeing them smile and laugh and have fun, it made me think. Is ignorance bliss? Or am I simply misreading things.
Either way, I had fun for an hour, talking with and interacting with the kids. Making them laugh, making them smile.
Monday, things were a little different. I decided that today, I was going to go to my local movie theater, one of them at least.
I got to the theater in the evening, about 30 minutes before a popular movie was going to start. I went in and up to the ticket counter. There, I bought 25 tickets to the movie.
I do not know if any of you, readers, have seen people standing outside a movie theater, trying to scalp tickets to a sold out show for a large price, but my plan was along those lines.
No, I did not sell the tickets. Instead, I stood outside the movie theater, and gave away all of the tickets, free.
To say that people were surprised, about sums it up. Some people thought I was selling the tickets, others simply took a ticket or two and left. The ones that I was doing this for, were the ones who stopped and talked to me. Who wondered why I was doing this.
The answer that they got was most likely not the one they were expecting, but it is the one that I gave. I told them that I was doing this because I had lost a bet to a friend of mine.
Perhaps people thought that this was a stupid way to go about doing this, but people smiled and were genuinely happy that I was being so nice to them. At least, the ones who were not suspicious of me and my motives.
Today, Tuesday, I had to accomplish my goal early, because I had plans for the night.
Around just after lunch, I paid a visit to the local branch of the Humane Society.
There, I started my shift as a volunteer.
Now some of you might think that this does not accomplish my daily goal, which is to make at least one person smile each day. I disagree. Not only do the people who actually work at the Humane Society, appreciate all of the work that they can get, the animals need the work as well.
I have always been a cat person, so I had volunteered to work with the cats. For several hours, I worked with the cats, simply being in the room, working with them, getting them some people contact.
At one point, I was sitting on the floor, with about 9 cats surrounding me, when a prospective adopter came in. Naturally, not only did the Humane Society worker who was showing them around, and the adopter herself came to a halt.
Somewhere underneath that pile of fur was a person, namely me. Eventally, the adopter started to laugh, and asked me to show her some of the cats.
I talked to her for a while, surrounded by cats. She evenually picked out a tabby cat to adopt.
After I got done with volunteering, I went back to my apartment and quickly showered and changed my clothes, before heading out on a date.
I am going to be honest, I can count the number of dates I have had before using only two hands, and not all of my fingers. And I am not sure that all of them actually count as dates.
If you have not guessed, the date was with R. We met and had dinner, and just talked at the table for a long time. It was probably one of the best times I have had in a long while. It felt good to just forget about my disease, to forget about everything for a while, and simply focus on the person in front of me.
After dinner, we got some ice cream and took it back to my apartment, where we sat on my deck and continued to talk. She left a short while ago, right before I started writing this.
So, that wraps up my last few days. And now, I can feel sleep wanting to overtake me.
Until next time,
B
Again, there is a delay between posts. These last few nights, I have been simply too tired to post at the end of the day. This disase is sapping my strength. I give myself perhaps a few weeks before I will not be able to live independently anymore.
When that happens, since I cannot afford to stay in a hospital, I have no idea what is going to happen. What I want to happen, is for me to simply stay in my apartment, and still be able to accomplish my goal each day with the help of R, who has already agreed to this.
God bless R, she really is the best friend that I can have. She is so willing to simply put her own life on hold in order to help me with my issues.
So, in these last few days, I have been busy with my goal.
On Sunday, I accompanied R to her church. I have never been a church going person, and believe me when I say that there is no deathbed conversion coming. But she has been trying to get me to ccome to church for weeks now, so today I relented.
Honestly, her church was not quite what I expected. Rather than being a bunch of people, stuffed in some hot and stuffy room on uncomfortable pews, it was rather different.
Sure there were a lot of people there, but I never even made it into the main room for service. No, I got dragged down into the basement by R, who took me into the room where the younger children have bible study/day-care during the service.
It was in this room that, as the newcomer, I was immediately surrounded by about 20 young kids, who all started asking me questions. As it turns out, R is the person who supervises these kids.
For an hour, I sat in a chair that is way to small for me, at a table that my legs do not fit under, and interacted with these kids.
Honestly, seeing them smile and laugh and have fun, it made me think. Is ignorance bliss? Or am I simply misreading things.
Either way, I had fun for an hour, talking with and interacting with the kids. Making them laugh, making them smile.
Monday, things were a little different. I decided that today, I was going to go to my local movie theater, one of them at least.
I got to the theater in the evening, about 30 minutes before a popular movie was going to start. I went in and up to the ticket counter. There, I bought 25 tickets to the movie.
I do not know if any of you, readers, have seen people standing outside a movie theater, trying to scalp tickets to a sold out show for a large price, but my plan was along those lines.
No, I did not sell the tickets. Instead, I stood outside the movie theater, and gave away all of the tickets, free.
To say that people were surprised, about sums it up. Some people thought I was selling the tickets, others simply took a ticket or two and left. The ones that I was doing this for, were the ones who stopped and talked to me. Who wondered why I was doing this.
The answer that they got was most likely not the one they were expecting, but it is the one that I gave. I told them that I was doing this because I had lost a bet to a friend of mine.
Perhaps people thought that this was a stupid way to go about doing this, but people smiled and were genuinely happy that I was being so nice to them. At least, the ones who were not suspicious of me and my motives.
Today, Tuesday, I had to accomplish my goal early, because I had plans for the night.
Around just after lunch, I paid a visit to the local branch of the Humane Society.
There, I started my shift as a volunteer.
Now some of you might think that this does not accomplish my daily goal, which is to make at least one person smile each day. I disagree. Not only do the people who actually work at the Humane Society, appreciate all of the work that they can get, the animals need the work as well.
I have always been a cat person, so I had volunteered to work with the cats. For several hours, I worked with the cats, simply being in the room, working with them, getting them some people contact.
At one point, I was sitting on the floor, with about 9 cats surrounding me, when a prospective adopter came in. Naturally, not only did the Humane Society worker who was showing them around, and the adopter herself came to a halt.
Somewhere underneath that pile of fur was a person, namely me. Eventally, the adopter started to laugh, and asked me to show her some of the cats.
I talked to her for a while, surrounded by cats. She evenually picked out a tabby cat to adopt.
After I got done with volunteering, I went back to my apartment and quickly showered and changed my clothes, before heading out on a date.
I am going to be honest, I can count the number of dates I have had before using only two hands, and not all of my fingers. And I am not sure that all of them actually count as dates.
If you have not guessed, the date was with R. We met and had dinner, and just talked at the table for a long time. It was probably one of the best times I have had in a long while. It felt good to just forget about my disease, to forget about everything for a while, and simply focus on the person in front of me.
After dinner, we got some ice cream and took it back to my apartment, where we sat on my deck and continued to talk. She left a short while ago, right before I started writing this.
So, that wraps up my last few days. And now, I can feel sleep wanting to overtake me.
Until next time,
B
Day 7
Greetings readers,
So, here we are, one week in to my new life. I think it is time to take a moment and reflect on the last week.
In the last week, I have noticed two things about myself.
1) That in the last week, I have become, not necessarily happier with my life, but definitely more satisfied. My new life goal, has perhaps turned into a new life outlook. I have always been a sad and depressed person, but now I am more satisfied with things.
2) This disease is starting to show itself. I can feel myself getting tired more and more easily. I need to rest more often when doing things like simply walking. I have no idea how much longer I will be able to live the way that I do, alone and independent.
What does this all mean? I may love my new life, but my time is limited. I should not waste a single day if at all possible.
Pehaps a good example of this, is today. I spent almost the whole day with K. Her father, F, did not get home until it was too late for me to go out and do anything.
Do I believe this a wasted day? No, I do not. I like K, and getting to spend just a little more time with her before the end is a blessing to me.
The only thing that I can see, is that I have now spent two days making the same person happy. It is a goal accomplishment, just not of the way that I would hope. My goal is to make at least one person happy each day, and making the same person happy two days in a row is accomplishing that. I suppose that I can just say that I want it to be a different person each day.
My little speech is over for the day, so I shall now leave.
Until next time,
B
So, here we are, one week in to my new life. I think it is time to take a moment and reflect on the last week.
In the last week, I have noticed two things about myself.
1) That in the last week, I have become, not necessarily happier with my life, but definitely more satisfied. My new life goal, has perhaps turned into a new life outlook. I have always been a sad and depressed person, but now I am more satisfied with things.
2) This disease is starting to show itself. I can feel myself getting tired more and more easily. I need to rest more often when doing things like simply walking. I have no idea how much longer I will be able to live the way that I do, alone and independent.
What does this all mean? I may love my new life, but my time is limited. I should not waste a single day if at all possible.
Pehaps a good example of this, is today. I spent almost the whole day with K. Her father, F, did not get home until it was too late for me to go out and do anything.
Do I believe this a wasted day? No, I do not. I like K, and getting to spend just a little more time with her before the end is a blessing to me.
The only thing that I can see, is that I have now spent two days making the same person happy. It is a goal accomplishment, just not of the way that I would hope. My goal is to make at least one person happy each day, and making the same person happy two days in a row is accomplishing that. I suppose that I can just say that I want it to be a different person each day.
My little speech is over for the day, so I shall now leave.
Until next time,
B
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Days 5 and 6
Greetings readers,
I apologize for not updating these last two nights. I find that I am getting tired earlier, and have simply gone to bed on Thursday night, and last night... well, was a little different. But you will hear about that soon.
So, to update you on what has been going on. On Thursday, August 19, that was the first day of classes at my old college. Even though I am not taking any classes this semester, I decided to head to campus and just see what was going on.
I arrived on campus not too early, and wandered around a bit, passing people on the walkways. Eventually I made my way to the student union. I sat in the union for a while, watching people pass by and looking for familiar faces.
I saw a few people that I had taken classes with, but no one who would recognize or remember me. As the time grew closer to lunch, I thought of a plan that I could do.
I went to the store in the union that sells school supplies, and bought a piece of poster-board and a black marker. I took both items to a table and quickly wrote on the poster-board, "Free hugs" in large letters. I took my sign, folded it in half, and walked to just inside the doors to the union. There I stood and unfolded my sign.
I have heard of, and seen videos on YouTube, of people doing this before. I figured that on the first day of classes, it might not be a bad idea.
As soon as I unfolded the sign and stood there, people walking past would read the sign, some would just keep walking, others would do a double-take, while still others would stop, look again, and then keep moving.
I would like to say that the response was immediate, but it was not. It took me 5 minutes before I gave out my first hug. Finally, what looked like a freshman girl came up to me and hugged me.
I do not know her name, but she deserves a mention here, because she was the brave soul who took the plunge first. Once other people saw her receive a hug from me, they started to come up for hugs.
It was not just women either, men wanted hugs as well. It was not long before I became a novelty of sorts in the union. I am guessing that people were telling other people about me, because a crowd started to gather, and more and more people were wanting a hug.
Again, this is me guessing, but after 45 minutes of me standing there and giving out hugs, a campus policeman come up to me and more or less ordered me to stop doing what I was doing. People in the crowd boo'ed the police officer, but he was resolute in that I was "creating a disturbance" and need to stop, or he would make me stop.
I bowed to the will of the police officer, and simply folded up my sign, gave the man a hug, and walked away.
I felt good after doing that, and not just because I had hugged so many people. I could see the people walking past, or standing around me. They were laughing and smiling at me, and the people that I hugged usually gave me a big smile afterwards.
I know that I did not make a difference in anyone's life that day, but I still feel as if I had accomplished my goal for the day.
I spent some more time on campus before I met up with R and the two of us went back to my place, and hung out for a while. Eventually I got tired, so she went back to her place and I simply fell asleep.
Yesterday, August 20, I was at my apartment in the afternoon, around 2:30. I do not know if any of you, dear readers, have ever lived in an apartment, but at my place, the walls are pretty well insulated, so I do not hear my neighbors much at all.
So it was to my surprise when a rather loud word came through the wall from my next door neighbor. Rather than being an expletive, the word was an exclamation, "What?"
After that, there was silence for a few minutes, and I simply went back to what I was doing.
Before I continue, I should explain that next door to me, lives a man, 32 years old, who works for a company here in town as a manager. Also living with him is his daughter, 10 years old, very nice girl. I have, on occasion, babysat the daughter while the man was at a work dinner, or something else. The girl's mother, the man's ex-wife, does not live with them, and in fact, I am not really sure what happened between the man and his ex-wife, all I do know is that they are now divorced and she wants nothing to do with her daughter.
Well, not long after the exclamation from next door, there was a knock on my door. Using the peephole, I saw that it was my neighbor. I opened the door and let him in.
He told me that he had to go out of town that evening, and would be back tomorrow night sometime. He had hired a person to babysit his daughter for that time, but that person had just called him and told him that she could not make it.
Now my neighbor, who shall from now on be referred to as F, had come over here to ask me to please could I babysit his daughter today, make sure she gets to bed that night, and then watch over her the next day until he came home.
Now like I said, I have babysat the girl, who I will refer to as K, before. Usually what that involves is she comes over to my apartment and we hang out, watch TV, play a board/card game, she brings over her homework or a book, or her dolls, whatever really. I have never been asked to babysit her overnight before.
I suppose that I should be honored, the trust that F was showing me. He was, after all, entrusting his most precious daughter into my care overnight. I agreed, mostly because I like F, and I know that he works hard to provide for his daughter, whom he loves dearly. And it also helps that K is a cool girl, who is really quite fun to hang out with.
So after discussing the details, like where K was going to sleep, he left and came back about 15 minutes later, carrying a bag and dropped off his apartment key to me, allowing me access to his apartment. He said that he had left a letter for K on the kitchen counter, letting her know what was going on. Her bus from school should be back soon.
He then left to go catch his flight. I went and sat on my couch again, and simply waited. About 30 minutes later, there was another knock on my door. I opened it to find K standing there. After greeting me with a hug, she came in and we started to hang out.
I will not bore you with all the details, but just to sum it up, we spent the afternoon and evening hanging out, watched some TV, I made her get her weekend homework done, and just had fun. I cooked dinner for us, and after dinner we watched a movie before it was time for bed, for both of us.
After a rather long discussion with F, we decided that it was best if K slept at my apartment, rather than alone in the one next door. So me being me, I changed the sheets on my bed to fresh ones, and she slept on my bed while I slept on the couch. The next morning, today, she naturally woke up before me, and proceeded to get me up by basically jumping up and down on my head.
After breakfast today, I let her watch some Saturday morning cartoons. It is now just after lunch, and she is dozing on the couch while I am sitting at the table, writing this while I have some free time.
I suppose that seeing as to how circumstances are a bit beyond my control, my goal for yesterday was accomplished through F and K. As for my goal today, well if F comes home early enough, I will go out and see what I can do. If not, well then the post for tonight shall be short. We shall see I guess.
Until next time,
B
I apologize for not updating these last two nights. I find that I am getting tired earlier, and have simply gone to bed on Thursday night, and last night... well, was a little different. But you will hear about that soon.
So, to update you on what has been going on. On Thursday, August 19, that was the first day of classes at my old college. Even though I am not taking any classes this semester, I decided to head to campus and just see what was going on.
I arrived on campus not too early, and wandered around a bit, passing people on the walkways. Eventually I made my way to the student union. I sat in the union for a while, watching people pass by and looking for familiar faces.
I saw a few people that I had taken classes with, but no one who would recognize or remember me. As the time grew closer to lunch, I thought of a plan that I could do.
I went to the store in the union that sells school supplies, and bought a piece of poster-board and a black marker. I took both items to a table and quickly wrote on the poster-board, "Free hugs" in large letters. I took my sign, folded it in half, and walked to just inside the doors to the union. There I stood and unfolded my sign.
I have heard of, and seen videos on YouTube, of people doing this before. I figured that on the first day of classes, it might not be a bad idea.
As soon as I unfolded the sign and stood there, people walking past would read the sign, some would just keep walking, others would do a double-take, while still others would stop, look again, and then keep moving.
I would like to say that the response was immediate, but it was not. It took me 5 minutes before I gave out my first hug. Finally, what looked like a freshman girl came up to me and hugged me.
I do not know her name, but she deserves a mention here, because she was the brave soul who took the plunge first. Once other people saw her receive a hug from me, they started to come up for hugs.
It was not just women either, men wanted hugs as well. It was not long before I became a novelty of sorts in the union. I am guessing that people were telling other people about me, because a crowd started to gather, and more and more people were wanting a hug.
Again, this is me guessing, but after 45 minutes of me standing there and giving out hugs, a campus policeman come up to me and more or less ordered me to stop doing what I was doing. People in the crowd boo'ed the police officer, but he was resolute in that I was "creating a disturbance" and need to stop, or he would make me stop.
I bowed to the will of the police officer, and simply folded up my sign, gave the man a hug, and walked away.
I felt good after doing that, and not just because I had hugged so many people. I could see the people walking past, or standing around me. They were laughing and smiling at me, and the people that I hugged usually gave me a big smile afterwards.
I know that I did not make a difference in anyone's life that day, but I still feel as if I had accomplished my goal for the day.
I spent some more time on campus before I met up with R and the two of us went back to my place, and hung out for a while. Eventually I got tired, so she went back to her place and I simply fell asleep.
Yesterday, August 20, I was at my apartment in the afternoon, around 2:30. I do not know if any of you, dear readers, have ever lived in an apartment, but at my place, the walls are pretty well insulated, so I do not hear my neighbors much at all.
So it was to my surprise when a rather loud word came through the wall from my next door neighbor. Rather than being an expletive, the word was an exclamation, "What?"
After that, there was silence for a few minutes, and I simply went back to what I was doing.
Before I continue, I should explain that next door to me, lives a man, 32 years old, who works for a company here in town as a manager. Also living with him is his daughter, 10 years old, very nice girl. I have, on occasion, babysat the daughter while the man was at a work dinner, or something else. The girl's mother, the man's ex-wife, does not live with them, and in fact, I am not really sure what happened between the man and his ex-wife, all I do know is that they are now divorced and she wants nothing to do with her daughter.
Well, not long after the exclamation from next door, there was a knock on my door. Using the peephole, I saw that it was my neighbor. I opened the door and let him in.
He told me that he had to go out of town that evening, and would be back tomorrow night sometime. He had hired a person to babysit his daughter for that time, but that person had just called him and told him that she could not make it.
Now my neighbor, who shall from now on be referred to as F, had come over here to ask me to please could I babysit his daughter today, make sure she gets to bed that night, and then watch over her the next day until he came home.
Now like I said, I have babysat the girl, who I will refer to as K, before. Usually what that involves is she comes over to my apartment and we hang out, watch TV, play a board/card game, she brings over her homework or a book, or her dolls, whatever really. I have never been asked to babysit her overnight before.
I suppose that I should be honored, the trust that F was showing me. He was, after all, entrusting his most precious daughter into my care overnight. I agreed, mostly because I like F, and I know that he works hard to provide for his daughter, whom he loves dearly. And it also helps that K is a cool girl, who is really quite fun to hang out with.
So after discussing the details, like where K was going to sleep, he left and came back about 15 minutes later, carrying a bag and dropped off his apartment key to me, allowing me access to his apartment. He said that he had left a letter for K on the kitchen counter, letting her know what was going on. Her bus from school should be back soon.
He then left to go catch his flight. I went and sat on my couch again, and simply waited. About 30 minutes later, there was another knock on my door. I opened it to find K standing there. After greeting me with a hug, she came in and we started to hang out.
I will not bore you with all the details, but just to sum it up, we spent the afternoon and evening hanging out, watched some TV, I made her get her weekend homework done, and just had fun. I cooked dinner for us, and after dinner we watched a movie before it was time for bed, for both of us.
After a rather long discussion with F, we decided that it was best if K slept at my apartment, rather than alone in the one next door. So me being me, I changed the sheets on my bed to fresh ones, and she slept on my bed while I slept on the couch. The next morning, today, she naturally woke up before me, and proceeded to get me up by basically jumping up and down on my head.
After breakfast today, I let her watch some Saturday morning cartoons. It is now just after lunch, and she is dozing on the couch while I am sitting at the table, writing this while I have some free time.
I suppose that seeing as to how circumstances are a bit beyond my control, my goal for yesterday was accomplished through F and K. As for my goal today, well if F comes home early enough, I will go out and see what I can do. If not, well then the post for tonight shall be short. We shall see I guess.
Until next time,
B
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